toleration -v- love

Oh – the beauty of all I see – through the rose colored glasses the world hands me – telling me all of my days – will be sky blue – if only – I tolerate you

Hmmmmm – is what I think of that – is it toleration or love we lack – tolerate – seems a dirty word to me – it may behoove me to tolerate the – shit – that you do – but I am called – to love – the very core of you – through spirit and joy – in all place and time – I find toleration – is the world’s game – not mine – Love is the action – we lack with one another – to truly love and – not – just tolerate our brother

Toleration – is something asked of a child – for love is a choice – a parent – makes with a smile

So it is – that children tolerate their youth – while – being under hand – learning life’s truth – but – as elder – we should love – all that we touch – so our children – will love and not just tolerate us

For if toleration – is really how – to play the game – then we play under hand – of the Ruler of the day – using words – to hold our foe at bay

Do we really think that little of him – that we not love and only tolerate with a grin

Intertwine

I know things that you don’t know

My heart can see your inner soul

When your eyes meet with mine

I can see your life thru time

I really wish it weren’t that way

‘Cause now I know you’ll never stay

My heart is stronger now you see

I know it’s you and it’s not me

She must have hurt you awful bad

To make my heart so torn and sad

Knowing that you’re gonna go

Makes me wonder does she know

Is she waiting there for you

Gazing thru your eyes of blue

Knowing things you never knew

Watching your life pass thru time

Hoping hers will intertwine

Autism Definition

“Aut” is to Self as “Ism” is to Characteristic

Is not then; Autism to be Self Characteristic

Which is to be Human

Is human not to be aware of one’s self

Is not characteristic’s that which defines us all

Shame on us, who defines the Aut-ims person as not being normal

Seems normal to me

Again, I have to ask, WHAT IS NORMAL AND WHO DEFINED THIS WORD,

THAT SHAPES HOW WE ARE VIEWED BY OTHERS?

POOY – ON YOU- Creator of boxes of self Definition

Seems selfish to me!

Have you ever been in a place (where there is so much sound) that all you can hear is the silence of the rebound?

Life on the edge of impending time
schemes of another’s ambition collide your dreams and bind
holding hostage host’s compromised ideas
twisting words of silence appeals
no words are used yet meaning defined
...no meaning is shared yet imaginings intertwine
the lying schemes of smiles with glint
tell a strangled story when the heart must relent
if not then the soul surly will die

Renunciation

Amusing how this diversion is executed

In the mind of now established faux

Twisting lines of past gone before

Creating the future on stylish lie

Crafting forging hidden scheme

With allusion twisted truth you deem

Guarding once a long held bond

Now forming charade on gilded posture

In its entire splendor retain head high

Masking the past with tongue filled pride

Once friend a foe now stands

Pretense binding tying of hands

Seeking out forked laid path

Forsaking “Right” choose deviate

“Left” renunciation is now our fate

checkmate?

The world – in which we choose to live – unwilling participants

as pawn – are played – forcing hand – of rook and knight

 changing – the world – of bishop delight

seeking out  – mastered schemes

democracy – a coalition dream

parsing words – with sword on hand  

with claims of peace - on another’s sand  

if no gain – by taking king – would we stain – with bloody dream

of conquest – from regime to regime

don’t think the plight – of common man – is most important

with oil at hand

unwilling participants – in games – that are played

by heads of state - that speak as one  – tie our hands

freedom the bait – checkmate

The Searcher

The searcher – waits – when time stands still
The searcher – abides – by another’s will
The searcher seeks – in silence – dream
To find - to hold – eluding schemes
Wandering – in and out – through days
Intertwining dream and reality – the same
Tempting fate – so - she dare not wait
Give the searcher – an awaited concrete
The searcher – nomadic in deeds unseen
Like a poet – he holds to fading imaginings
Seeking – searching – holding dreams tight
In silence – he dreams – of another’s mans plight
Never wavering – in his constant – examination
Of the heart of man – and his quest of life

A mother was made -

Disclaimer: (If anyone would like to comment to me about this poem, please do so via e-mail at mistyarizona@hotmail.com, as my personal life is very private, and although I draw from my life to write, I never reveal persons identities "and assumptions, you are right, are not very nice". I ask that you respect this, as I have respected, all that you have asked of me.) 

Something beautiful came my way – nine months later - on cold – winters day

Wrapped in linen – the world to see – the sin of love - that grew – inside of me

I labored long – and born the pain – for another woman – who would raise my seed

She who would see – this piece of me – grow and shine – from my womb – would be

She held tight – when I cried out in pain – the loss was mine – for her to gain

Little foot steps – raised far from - my sight – never knowing – my love – given not a gain

She paid her lot – I paid not the same – and gave another – my love – unselfishly – no matter the pain

Years they pass – and who’s to say – what mothers – love is – or how – it may be - kept at a far

Time does not heal – all pains you see – when one thinks – they have bought – the very core of me

If I had known – what I know today – that another felt – I beholden – because of fee – they did pay

Giving - my first love – would have been given to me – for my love holds - no cost - no fee

I have loved all - I hold near – I have never considered fee – a levy to life – giving without love – is not a fair price

So – you go on holding my love – at a cost – you go on holding her tight – at our loss

You have coveted my gift – and lied of me - I am sure – so never to lose – cause – you wanted her – yours - that she is – no one dare say not – because you have the receipt – and then you dared plot

To defile – a love - given not gained – you have distorted my love and made it pure shame

You have caused – this little one – to think badly of me – you have lied – so you may seem – that you are the better of me – and in this – she never will want – look for a love – given without gain but in agony and pain

Oh how my heart grieves – for you - not for me – for in my sin of love  – was given freely – and through your shame – of feeling less than me – you coveted my heart – and closed her away – from a mother who longs to hold her – if only just - once again

In saying this – I know it comes to mind – that I signed her away – so she is yours – not mine – for I am not the mother her – the signature is clear

So this is true and you are in the right – but don’t ever think I don’t care of her plight – I will always wonder – why she dare not look for me – and I know - now it is because thee

You lied and you twisted all that I am – so she would never dare to think she was loved even then – by a young girl – alone and afraid – who gave all that she had – and you a mother was made